Now if I were Mariah Carey...

Hi there and happy new year!

Did you hear about Mariah's NYE show? She is blaming the production team for sabotaging her set in Times Square when her in-ear monitoring failed to work. Whether the lack of foldback was intentional or not, I know for sure that the quality of sound a singer receives on stage is an absolute maker or breaker of a performance. Audiences hear something quite different to our sound so sometimes it is hard to get their sympathy but I really feel for Mariah.  We know that not being able to hear properly can potentially make us sing off key and usher in such insecurity that a great singer becomes a terrible one. But as Mariah said herself in this particular show's aftermath, 'shit happens'. The trick is to pull yourself out of it smelling like roses. While we may not all possess her vocal gymnastic ability or star power, I actually think we gigging singers have one thing over Mariah Carey. One of the benefits of not being a multi million dollar megastar is the multitude of less-than-perfect gig conditions you get to experience! Being thrown into difficult situations over and over again tends to prepare you to jump just about any hurdle and still land on your feet.

I was in a kids show where we three girls performed to an audio visual track that, at one particular venue with an outdated system, started to skip noticeably and eventually froze. So we girls created acapella singalongs and dance competitions on the spot. While it was very obvious to the audience we were suffering fairly major technical issues, we kept them involved and onside and noone complained. If anything, we got extra credit for handling ourselves well under pressure.

I once did a nationally televised Christmas gig that had a huge live audience as well. I was one of two backing singers for a band that was to support some well known Aussie artists and celebrities. About 20 minutes before the show started, we were told we would be leading the live audience in singing Christmas carols during the commercial breaks of the live telecast. We were to follow the autocue. My fellow backing vocalist warned me she was not hugely familiar with carols and we had zero time to prepare. But the idea was we two girls would sing with the band and the crowd would sing along following the booklets of lyrics they had all received. I think someone forget to tell the audience because when the band played the first carol, we were the lone voices. That wouldn't be so bad except the keys of the songs were completely female unfriendly and so, in front of 30,000 people, we were jumping up and down octaves and throwing in harmonies on the spot to make the songs sound decent. We were doing OK with the first couple of well known tunes when the next song showed up: 'Good King Wenceslas'. At its appearance on our autocue, my fellow backing singer gave me a look of panic. Ok, so I was on my own for this one.

Now I love my Christmas songs but I wouldn't put the Good King at the top of my list and was only vaguely aware of its work. But all was going fine until the end of the first verse when the autocue froze completely. So in front of 30,000 people I winged the rest of the song, largely repeating the first verse over and over again! I don't think many people were any the wiser although I'm sure no one would have blamed me for shutting up completely if they had known the situation. But as performers, we are more than just singers, and I think we have a contract with our audience to entertain them the best way we can, in any situation.

I'd love to hear what you would have done in Mariah's position. What I wouldn't have done is walk off stage mid performance, however tempting that might have been. That kind of thing only punishes your audience and hurts your own reputation. I would have let the audience know what was happening, to make them really feel involved. I would have told the production guy - over the mic - to turn off the backing track because my audience and I were going to sing in the new year together. Then I would have led them in an acapella version of the songs. I think it would be pretty cool to say that you rang in 2017 singing along with Mariah Carey, don't you?

I'd love to hear some of your gig horror stories...

All the best,
Amanda

Should you Sing Sick? (When Sound Engineers Suck, Part 2)

Hi there,

I think I've got one of the best jobs in the world but I can't say the conditions and benefits are great. Basically, if I don't sing, I don't get paid. So if you're sick what do you do? Stay home sniffling and feeling sorry for yourself? I might as well be out sniffling and getting paid to feel sorry for myself! Of course it depends:

1. Will I embarrass myself? If I'm not going to sound any good then I don't want to let anyone hear me. But let's face it, singing is such an inconsistent art with hundreds of variables anyway, so as long as I can do about 75% of my best then I'll sing. Sometimes the extra work I have to put into my technique when I'm sick pays off with a better performance than a healthy but lazy one!

2. Will I piss off the band/agent if I don't sing? If advertising and promo has gone out with my name on it I'll try extra hard to drag myself from my sickbed. And if I know the gig will be difficult to cover by another singer - it's last minute, out of town or a specific part that requires rehearsal - than I'll be there.

3. Will I damage my voice in the long term? Nothing is worth that - I don't mind pushing the envelope a bit to get the job done but if it's going to hurt me down the line, I'll slip under the covers and stay there guilt free.

I was at a very big club recently to do a cabaret show with the house band. I was at the tail end of a dose of the flu but numbers 1 and 2 above were definite possibilities so there was no question of pulling out of this one. I was to sing in a huge auditorium on a massive stage where both the audience and the band were way out of spitting distance so there was no danger of infecting them. The only concern I had was the artist that followed me - they would be using the same microphone. I mentioned this to the very friendly lighting guy and he said he'd send the sound engineer backstage to have a chat to me before the show.

Those who have read my last blog may know what's coming next (see 'When Sound Engineers Suck'). Yes, who should walk into the green room but Mr Persnikety.  Now if you are a persnikety sound guy then you're having run-ins with singers on a regular basis. So you're not going to remember one little singer in particular, weeks after the fact, at a venue across town, are you? Damn my rather unusual blue hair. 

Mr Precious laid eyes on me and and smiled maniacally. I gulped and soldiered on. 

'Oh hi there...well I have the flu and I don't want the artist following me to catch it, so I was wondering if you'd be able to give us different microphones?' I said, heart beating, with a big false smile. 

His eyes widened as licks of flame started coming out of flared nostrils only inches away from my face...well Ok that didn't happen, but that's how it felt. He did however tell me there was only one microphone.(?!) He then paused for dramatic effect (the entire band and crew backstage were our audience) and said, with lashings of scorn, 
     'Well, ah, just putting it out there, but did ya ever perhaps think (another pause here to highlight by obvious inability to do just that) that perhaps you shouldn't be performing if you're sick?"  

Cruel stare, Blink, Cruel Stare, more flames out of nostrils. Hasn't he heard of 'The Show Must go On?' And excuse me, but I own a sound system worth less than $2000 and I own three microphones. I was about to sing to hundreds of people through a sound system worth in the hundreds of thousands of dollars - and there was only one microphone - really?

Don't piss off the sound guy...

xAmanda
www.amandaeaston.com

Give 'em What They Want

Hi there,

I have a theory that is yet to be disproved in all my years of fronting party bands...Now, your raison d'etre is getting your audience to dance... if you can work out roughly when the majority of your audience was 20 years old ie their halcyon days, you're off to a flying start. Pluck out a big dancey hit from aroundabout that year and you're almost guaranteed to have a packed dance floor. The flow of alcohol also helps and females are generally easier to shift but the good thing is that the men generally follow the women onto the floor so get to the girls first. 

If you have a group that's hard to pick or they are of really mixed ages like at a wedding, then go for Retro hits. Even Gen Zs know the big songs from the '70s and '80s thanks to their constant re-emergence in movies and sitcoms. It doesn't seem to matter how many current hits I learn for these occasions, 'I Will Survive' and 'Girls Just Want To Have Fun' are still top of the dance floor hit parade. 

Of course you might have a bunch of hipsters that won't go for Top 40 from any era - then you have to be a bit smarter (and have a wide repertoire). Pick a hip song that regular bodies probably don't know, that still has a good beat, and pump that out while gazing at your shoes. The hep cat gets to be the dude dancing and mouthing along to a song no one else is familiar with while everyone else will join in so as not to appear uncool.

Of course it's simply understanding what your audience wants. Are they there to dance, to just listen, to impress? Are they straight-laced corporate types or wild and woolly hippies? Don't be like an agent I heard of recently (see 'Agents, who needs em?) who was sending disco dancing drag queens to entertain at events for the very elderly and very conservative! 

And if in doubt, just sing 'Brown Eyed Girl' - that'll cover more than half of your population,
Cheers,
Amanda

www.amandaeaston.com

Secret to Success: Turning Up

Hi there,

(Now guitarists, when I say turn up, I don't mean turn up to '11' a la Spinal Tap). 

I'm just going to go ahead and put it in writing - I love Dr Oz.  If he told me to jump I probably would. And he says one of the secrets of life is 'turning up'. He means you've got to participate in life, be part of it. I mean that too but I'm being even more literal. 

I was speaking to a muso friend of mine this morning who did a high profile gig on the weekend. Ten minutes before the band were due to perform for the masses, two of its members decided it was time to get a cup of coffee at the bar nearby. So at the moment the event organiser came by and asked the band to start, the singer was left hanging out to dry with just a drummer and trumpeter. Needless to say, the usually calm, polite chanteuse who had booked the band, let loose on the two strays when they returned, which was well after the preordained starting time. She also turned to my friend and said that next time she would simply book mediocre players who turned up, rather than go through that again. 

Having run a function band for years myself, I feel her pain. I'm still recovering from a moment many years ago when the guitarist that I hired for a wedding band came stumbling down the aisle right after the bride, holding his shoes, trailing his leads and dragging his equipment. The rest of the band had been set up an hour before the first guests had gathered. Great guitarist, lousy organisational skills. The stress is simply not worth it. 

I truly believe that punctuality, preparation, respect and enthusiasm are at least as important as actual music skills in a professional entertainer's arsenal.

Of course if you are a great musician that turns up on time as well, you've got it made!

See you next time,
Amanda
www.amandaeaston.com

Time to Pop the Cherry

Hi there,

I find it pretty intimidating playing brand new songs to someone for the first time. It’s one week until my first original gig of the year – where I’ve committed to perform some brand new songs destined for Album no 3...

It was a bit easier for me in the past when I mostly co-wrote songs. Like a trouble shared is a trouble halved, so the blame for a dodgy verse structure or naff lyric is not entirely your fault when more than one person has authored a song. This time, as part of the whole ‘do something that scares you’ routine, I’ve decide to write the whole bloody album by myself. The audience at Lizotte’s next week won’t hear entirely virginal songs, however – they will have been heard first, of course, by my fabulous accompanist.

I thought I’d try to make his job easier by recording rough demos of the songs I’ve written so far. A bit of midi drums and even a bass line, to give him the vibe man.  After his first listen (while I watched my knuckles turn white in another room), he said he didn’t ‘quite get’ one of the new tunes. But that one is supposed to be my Goldfrapp-esque dancefloor hit! He said it sounded like monkeys had played the drums in the opening. Things took a turn for the even worse when he started talking about my show tune. SHOW TUNE!? Oh you mean the sultry tear-jerking blues number? Oh dear. Things thankfully did improve when the songs were stripped back to the vocals and chords and his arranging skills were added on top.  Percussion-loving simians have now been banished and Minnelli-like melodrama has melted away.

Note to self: do not under any circumstances attempt to be a music producer. Don’t give up your night job!

Before You Die, You Gotta Play This Gig

Hi there,
Reverbnation just published the results of a survey on the venues where most artists want to perform. Top of the heap in New York? Madison Square Garden. Number one in LA? Whiskey a Go Go. Top dog in London? Wembley Stadium. No surprises there.

That would be that place in Sydney? It's not necessarily the biggest venue that holds the most appeal for everyone. For me, it was always The Basement - Sydney's iconic Circular Quay venue. It's dark but classy. It's the kind of place you could turn up and always know you'll see really good live music. Audiences know that and so artists on that stage always seem to be treated with respect. If Prince is coming to town with his stadium tour, he'll make sure he has time for a secret gig at The Basement. 

I have seen countless gigs at The Basement and I had always dreamed of playing there myself one day. I remember one night, quite a few years ago hanging out after watching a show there. Another singer girlfriend and I knew some of the guys in the band so we stayed on with them playing pool, after the rest of the audience had gone home.  

After quite a few drinks, my friend and I decided to explore. We snuck away from the rest of the group with a cigarette lighter showing our path through the now darkened stage area. With mischievous grins to each other (because I wasn't the only one who had always wanted to be on that stage) we opened the door to the backstage area. We marvelled at this cavern of gig posters and outrageous graffiti. After a few excited moments in the artists' den we decide that since we'd gone this far...we spotted the hole in the wall that led to the actual stage and giggling like schoolgirls, rushed each other to go through to the other side. When we got there we paused for a few moments in revered silence then jumped up and down (I believe there was some tap dancing and other Young Talent Time-style choreography) with absolute glee. We had been on the Basement stage!!
The Basement may well always be at the top of my heap. By the way, yes I did get to legitimately perform there - in fact I'm lucky enough to do so regularly, and on each occasion I still relive a bit of the thrill of that very first time.