Should you Sing Sick? (When Sound Engineers Suck, Part 2)

Hi there,

I think I've got one of the best jobs in the world but I can't say the conditions and benefits are great. Basically, if I don't sing, I don't get paid. So if you're sick what do you do? Stay home sniffling and feeling sorry for yourself? I might as well be out sniffling and getting paid to feel sorry for myself! Of course it depends:

1. Will I embarrass myself? If I'm not going to sound any good then I don't want to let anyone hear me. But let's face it, singing is such an inconsistent art with hundreds of variables anyway, so as long as I can do about 75% of my best then I'll sing. Sometimes the extra work I have to put into my technique when I'm sick pays off with a better performance than a healthy but lazy one!

2. Will I piss off the band/agent if I don't sing? If advertising and promo has gone out with my name on it I'll try extra hard to drag myself from my sickbed. And if I know the gig will be difficult to cover by another singer - it's last minute, out of town or a specific part that requires rehearsal - than I'll be there.

3. Will I damage my voice in the long term? Nothing is worth that - I don't mind pushing the envelope a bit to get the job done but if it's going to hurt me down the line, I'll slip under the covers and stay there guilt free.

I was at a very big club recently to do a cabaret show with the house band. I was at the tail end of a dose of the flu but numbers 1 and 2 above were definite possibilities so there was no question of pulling out of this one. I was to sing in a huge auditorium on a massive stage where both the audience and the band were way out of spitting distance so there was no danger of infecting them. The only concern I had was the artist that followed me - they would be using the same microphone. I mentioned this to the very friendly lighting guy and he said he'd send the sound engineer backstage to have a chat to me before the show.

Those who have read my last blog may know what's coming next (see 'When Sound Engineers Suck'). Yes, who should walk into the green room but Mr Persnikety.  Now if you are a persnikety sound guy then you're having run-ins with singers on a regular basis. So you're not going to remember one little singer in particular, weeks after the fact, at a venue across town, are you? Damn my rather unusual blue hair. 

Mr Precious laid eyes on me and and smiled maniacally. I gulped and soldiered on. 

'Oh hi there...well I have the flu and I don't want the artist following me to catch it, so I was wondering if you'd be able to give us different microphones?' I said, heart beating, with a big false smile. 

His eyes widened as licks of flame started coming out of flared nostrils only inches away from my face...well Ok that didn't happen, but that's how it felt. He did however tell me there was only one microphone.(?!) He then paused for dramatic effect (the entire band and crew backstage were our audience) and said, with lashings of scorn, 
     'Well, ah, just putting it out there, but did ya ever perhaps think (another pause here to highlight by obvious inability to do just that) that perhaps you shouldn't be performing if you're sick?"  

Cruel stare, Blink, Cruel Stare, more flames out of nostrils. Hasn't he heard of 'The Show Must go On?' And excuse me, but I own a sound system worth less than $2000 and I own three microphones. I was about to sing to hundreds of people through a sound system worth in the hundreds of thousands of dollars - and there was only one microphone - really?

Don't piss off the sound guy...

xAmanda
www.amandaeaston.com

Agents...who needs em?!

Hi there,

Why would you use an agent to get you gigs?

It's an agent's job to have strong relationships with venues, event bookers and even other agents. A good one will harness these contacts to get you work you might not otherwise get - and then manage the booking so that you can focus on just entertaining the masses. It's quite a luxury, well worth paying for in my book, that allows you to just be a performer and leave the business to the business people.

Now before you get the wrong idea, I'm not hear to praise all agents from the rooftops - it is an occupation up there with car sales and real estate in the trustworthy stakes, in some cases. However, one of my pet hates is entertainers constantly bitching about their agents (not suggesting I don't indulge in that sport myself occasionally). I booked a weekly singer songwriter night (PopTarts) for almost 10 years and while I wasn't strictly an 'agent', I certainly did a lot of the same work they did. And I can tell you, it's bloody hard! Dealing with publicans who measure entertainment success in terms of schooners sold and entertainers for whom the notion of promotion is a nebulous one can be frustrating and soul destroying. So before pissing on your promoter, try doing their job for yourself.

The problem is, a business hat doesn't always sit comfortably alongside an artistic hat on the same head - not everyone is cut out to balance books and belt out a ballad as well. But I do believe everyone needs to pull their head out of that creative soil just briefly to at least learn the basics.

Like many of my fellow songstresses, I've been doing this long enough that I have a pretty good idea what venues and event organisers are after. We should know how to do our own promotion and paperwork and understand the importance of being a business buff as well as polished performer. No one knows better than the act themselves, what they need, so could we just cut out that middle person - oh and save that at least 10% agent fee? Yes and No.

It's a tenuous world of work that I inhabit, where a gig can disappear on a whim. So I book about 50% of my work directly and the rest through a handful of agents I have built a rapport with - I like to share my eggs around in different people's baskets. I guess I just have to hope I get to deal more with competent cockerel types than the cocks.

See you next time!
Amanda
www.amandaeaston.com